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Xylem

by Xylem

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1.
July, it was the coldest Winter I'd ever known with you. You'd held an aching fear, though unbelievable; that without my suffering, you'd be cured. I held you down through your downfall and through my mirror, sprawled I watched divinity through wounds carved in your lungs. A well too far to fall, an addled cairn of walls break down was there in nothingness, from flesh, in darkness, painted with nightfall. The coldest winter I had known, buried deep in ice and snow. The stones of cradles have endured the weight of worlds.
2.
Paper Moon 07:02
At the sleep of the day, in the watch of the night hangs the paper moon up on high. "My regret is to know her damnation", I think with a sense of dread, "not a light on upstairs nor a knowing of fear in her head." A dream of nothingness that won't bring her to life and won't return, nor live to see. Take a little escape, to make you take my hand again. The looks in their eyes, a sense that I know not who I am. But last night I sat with great distrust in mind of all I'd come to see. On shattered earth beneath the frozen paper moonlight, I couldn't see you watching me. And it's Sunday again, and the look in her eyes reflects mine... "Oh won't you come back to me when the twin moons hang high? It's so lonely in my Barnum and Bailey world!" The great divide is falling down between us, a wall that separates our universe. But I know, I know it's only material.
3.
Go to sleep, I dare you, The walls of the world were meant to be the coverings of your eyes. Awake in nothingness, I know that the sleep of duality has swept us both away. But we'll be next to go in to the emptiness, the tired of you can do no wrong. I go to sleep and awake to a dream, where I watched as your eyes caught a glimpse of all time. A fading nothingness, (an) impeccable reality; A world that's tired from the fight Awaiting nothingness, (an) impeccable reality; A soul being dragged t'ward a fire. When will it start? A shell of life without a form, who holds back the tide beneath the grey. It all started in my chambers, when it wore a woman's heart, and she spoke of the light that he gifted her from watch towers that night; a weapon built to end all wars. But she tainted my soul a long time ago, now silence is all that remains. But then it starts, a choir of voices inhumane holding one sound forever and in vain! Every night I slither in this place, a sort of biological decay. As 6 billion voices scream aloud persist to whisper of my fate The fires had seared my flesh from utopia seen through her eyes, which now falls. Three agents of her will sent witherings and heathen cries to send me to nothingness. Afraid in these rays of moonlight, alone. A black soil Elysium encaged, dethroned. Left thro like pyres glow, wild fires turn my flesh to dust. Built from eclipse to fall, a vial to store myself. A wasted oaken enshrining to seal my fate When will it stop, a choir of voices inhumane holding one sound forever and in vain!?
4.
I'd tear the desperate from their graves if only I could find that place where on that distant autumn night of cold and rain... ...I watched as their feeble hands, raised in prayer, pointed to the moon above. Their faces soaked in blood and tears, ripped and torn by raven's claw. And we loathed the moonlight's hating of the fallen. Tombless, shield your eyes. In tall tales of that day, for those that died; deliverance deprived, denied, delayed. We called the desperate to their graves, marked their headstones with false names and under 6-feet deep of soil, unknown they lay. They can't stand up, they can't stand up I think. On the streets: brains, stones and hopes. We tried to escape from the moon's grey - bathing the outdoors, but the unknown overthrows the never.
5.
Hold me down, my love and let me drown. I've grown so tired of the ghosts in this strange old town. No great indifference left in cost of the selling of my soul and the beating of grateful hearts. A world that's sweet and desperate that cries itself to sleep enough for all of us, sustains us. The world once sweet, now dangerous, has torn the flesh and comfort from my bones and left me to cower in its wake. And gone are the days when the passage of time was waylayed and conquered by picturesque design, kill me ce soir. Leave me by the water's edge, wake me by the dawn (that) this tenderness of openess once built upon. Leave me by the water's edge, wake me by the dawn (that) this wilderness of hopelessness has risen from.
6.
For years I've stood on the banks of this blue velvet river with the thought of all that could've been. But now I'm wasted away, I don't drown but if you don't grow, then I may now. The same old song, the tide and times of me The same old song but that's alright for me I don't mean to flicker and distort, it's just my circuits bleeding out. I'm faultered and grey, I'm burning off cells in this old mind The same old song, the tide and times of me The same old song but that's alright for me Less than sleeping, night turns to day Life is a null when the pleasure's rinsed away. We linger on a foolish whim and hopeless prayer Life is a null when the pleasure's rinsed away Life is a null when the pleasure's rinsed away Less than sleeping, night turns to day Life is enough, but the pleasure's ripped away. We linger on a foolish whim and hopeless prayer Life is a null... ...the pleasure's rinsed away
7.
Day break, the space I've made with lies I've told again, deliver spake the fell regret. The lies I've told, the space I've made. I can't turn myself away from you, you are the day and the night I can't turn myself away from you, you are the darkness and the light "Sail away", the stranger said. But goaded like a fool, like blind leading the blind, like swarms of undefined, my world falls to all fours. "I will anoint you within a violent storm to the haunting melodies of your own sweet disregard. And your pain, keep it safe for the moment, dear you won't need it where you go, you won't need it anymore. Naming your pain, well it's hard for you to fall too far in sight of the walls you built so high. Naming your pain while the rest of you looks on, caught up in your desire for the flesh that shall come forth in rivers." Day break. The space I've made, the lies I've told. Deliver, spake the fell regret. The space I've made, the lies I've told...

credits

released October 15, 2018

Joe Bailey - Bass & electric guitars, backing vocals
Steven Holland - Vocals & drum/synth programming

Produced by Xylem,
Mixed and mastered by Joe Bailey.

All music by Steven Holland, except "Meshes of the Afternoon" & "An Empire Serenading"; music by Joe Bailey & Steven Holland.
All lyrics by Steven Holland.

Artwork by Steven Holland.

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